Category Archives: Politics

The Reason Romney Lost …

Among all the reasons offered for why Mitt Romney lost the presidential election (and I think I have read ALL of them, from both sides, I really do) …

Just one stands out for beauty and comprehensiveness and ALSO for utter prescience, because this result was foretold.

Romney, by not having written a concession speech “just in case,” tempted “the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing.”

The video has gone offline … You’d need to watch the “Election Night” episode.

The transcript is online, though:

***
C.J.
The speech is done.

TOBY
Two speeches are done.

C.J.
What’s the second?

TOBY
I’ve got a speech if he wins, I’ve got a speech if he doesn’t.

SAM
You wrote a concession?

TOBY
Of course I wrote a concession. You want to tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing?

SAM
No.

TOBY
Then go outside, turn around three times and spit. What the hell’s the matter with you?

SAM
It’s like 25 degrees outside.

TOBY
Go.

JOSH
Hello.

C.J.
[in foreign accent] Oh, Mr. Lyman. I see your picture in the magazine. Tell me, if I swallow my ballot, does it still…?

JOSH
A little election day humor– that’s great.

SAM
He wrote a concession speech.

JOSH
Of course he wrote a concession speech. Why wouldn’t he? What possible reason would he have for not writing a concession speech?

SAM
The wrath from high atop the thing.

TOBY
He upped and said we were gonna…

JOSH
No, you got to go outside, turn around three times and curse.

TOBY
Spit.

JOSH
Spit and curse.

TOBY
Do everything. Go!

JOSH
Go!

TOBY
Go!

JOSH
Go!

TOBY
Go!

Sam gets up and leaves the room.

Mitt Romney's OKCupid Profile: Mittster Wants You

So on Thursday, in a spurt of lunacy, I created a fake OKCupid profile for Mitt Romney. The OKCupid Robot was not amused and the profile was deleted, which is entirely understandable … fake dating profiles being the scourge of the Internets, and all.

But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good idea.

So I sent a version of Mittster’s profile off to a guy I know and today I’m finally on the cover of the Rolling Stone Salon.com.

http://www.salon.com/2012/10/19/ok_mittster/

Oh, and, in case you were wondering, my own OKCupid username is scribblebot. 😉